Defective 'Gaydar'
Well, 'Meg' has saved the day again. I was beginning to worry about the fact that I don't really have great subjects to talk about on a blog. And what's the point of having a blog if you don't have anything to talk about? But good ol' Meg left a comment under 'The Great Hormone Feud' about the movie my crush and I went to see two weeks ago: "Was Step It Up 2 his choice? 'Cause if it was then I think we have a solid case of 'he's not into women'."
Leave it to Meg to bring up one of my biggest issues. Namely: why the hell am I always attracted to the closeted gays? I mean, it's been a problem of mine since I was a 'tween, although I didn't recognize it then. Remember when 'N Sync was popular? Guess which one I had a crush on - ALL OF THEM hahaha. Sorry. Not funny. No, of course I just lurved Lance. Whay couldn't I have been attracted to Justin or one of the other guys? It's seriously beginning to feel like a curse.
My inadvertent gaydar is - if three of the last four crushes are to be counted - nearly flawless. But my special version of gaydar is unique and absolutely useless. I can't use it on purpose! So now every time I get a crush on a guy I have to wonder first if he's gay. Can you imagine what that does to a girl's sanity?
My current on-again off-again crush could, as Meg points out, be gay. It's sad that I wouldn't be surprised. He says he's had a girlfriend in the past, but heck, Elton John was married to a woman for a while, wasn't he? So that doesn't necessarily mean anything. Plus quite a few of the signs are certainly there - all his friends are girls, his Facebook profile doesn't say one way or the other, he's incredibly good looking, he doesn't have a girlfriend already, and he dresses well (although I do hold some small hope in the fact that sometimes he wears the same thing two days in a row). But of course all these things could mean absolutely nothing. I like to delude myself that they don't mean anything, and until I'm 100% sure, I'm finding it really hard to give up on him.
But any straight guys that might be reading this, definetely don't get the impression that it is in ANY way appropriate to lie to a girl and tell her you're gay because you don't want to hurt her feelings. It's nice that you don't want to hurt her and all, but I mean, look how neurotic I am, and to my knowledge all three guys were telling the truth! Then if the girl caught you going out with some other chick, you'd be in some really deep shit. Plus, she'd be even more hurt than if you had just told her the truth in the first place.
Meg says she likes to have her fantasies and be strung along. I can understand that thinking completely, and I used to think like that, too. But I have trouble really crushing on more than one guy at once, and I really don't want to waste my time on a guy that's not interested in me when I could be having a relationship with someone else. Of course, in my case this is all wishful thinking, but that's my two cents.
